SCRANTON, PA — Pro tip: When you’re pulled over at 2 a.m. for running a red light, attacking the arresting officers is not the power move you think it is.

Daniel Zamber, 49, of Wilkes-Barre apparently missed that memo. He now has plenty of time to think about his life choices from Lackawanna County Prison, where he’s being held on $10,000 bail after allegedly turning a traffic stop into what can only be described as a really bad decision.

Red Light? What Red Light?

Officer Nicholas Brett was minding his business on patrol around 2 a.m. Sunday when he watched Zamber blow through a red light on North Main Avenue like it was merely a suggestion. When Brett hit the lights, things got even weirder—Zamber slowed down but apparently thought “pull over” was more of a guideline than a rule, continuing to cruise before finally stopping.

Smart? No. But wait—it gets better.

As Brett approached the passenger side, he was treated to a full display of what “not sober” looks like: pinpoint pupils (hello, opioids), extreme lethargy, and the conversational skills of someone trying to remember what words are. The criminal complaint notes Zamber would literally lose his train of thought mid-sentence. At one point, he stuck out his tongue and closed his eyes. You know, normal traffic stop behavior.

“I Haven’t Taken Anything” (Narrator: He Had)

When asked about drug use, Zamber denied taking narcotics—but casually mentioned he was on Suboxone, a medication for opioid addiction. Oh, and he’d had “two beers.” Because that’s what you lead with when you’re definitely stone-cold sober.

Shockingly, Zamber couldn’t pass the field sobriety tests. Who could’ve seen that coming? Officer Brett placed him under arrest for DUI, and that’s when Zamber apparently decided to audition for WWE.

It Takes a Village (of Officers) to Make an Arrest

As Officer Brett tried to handcuff him and guide him to the patrol car, Zamber went full toddler-tantrum mode—pulling away, clenching his teeth, screaming, the whole nine yards. When Brett finally got control, Zamber decided round two sounded fun and got aggressive again.

Then came the pièce de résistance: Zamber lunged at the officer, forcing Brett to take him to the ground. Because assault charges really complete the look when you’re already facing a DUI.

When Officers Chad Pettus and Steven Tineo arrived as backup, Zamber generously spread the chaos around by kicking both of them as they attempted to stuff him into the patrol car. Team player!

The Tab: Three Felonies and a Reality Check

Zamber’s Sunday night adventure has earned him a trifecta of charges:

• Aggravated assault (because assaulting cops always works out great)
• Resisting arrest (shocking, we know)
• Driving under the influence of a controlled substance (the original bad idea)

His preliminary hearing is scheduled for 11 a.m. on December 4 before District Judge George Seig. Something tells us “but the red light was yellow-ish” isn’t going to be a winning defense strategy.

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In all seriousness, this incident is a reminder that officers face genuine danger during routine traffic stops, and that impaired driving puts everyone at risk—including the person behind the wheel who’s about to make their bad night infinitely worse.